


watched the lanterns tilt

by DarkBeauty_890



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Angst, Boys In Love, Depression, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, isak being an awesome boyfriend, its an angsty little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 21:55:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8940946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkBeauty_890/pseuds/DarkBeauty_890
Summary: Isak gets the call at about half-past three am. 
He wakes up on the first ring, almost like even his body was expecting the interruption, because Isak’s mind certainly had been. 
Even had been manic for the last week and a half. 
(Or, a future fic in which Even falls into another depressive state, but Isak is there for him in any way he can be.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Guys! Long time no see right? Is anyone else scratching at the walls, dying for Skam to come back?
> 
> This was a prompt on Tumblr that got away from me and a 300 hundred word drabble turned into a 2000 word fic.
> 
> Original prompts:   
> From lelia-lele on Tumblr- it`s in the middle of the night & even can`t sleep and he just wants isak   
> Anyonymous: Isak taking care of Even while he's in his depressive state. I just want to read some domestic!Isak.

Isak gets the call at about half-past three am.

He wakes up on the first ring, almost like even his body was expecting the interruption, because Isak’s mind certainly had been.

Even had been manic for the last week and a half.

It wasn’t hard to notice- the voice raised high and booming with exuberance, the sex drive that even Isak (who was a healthy 18-year-old male with a fucking beautiful boyfriend) was having trouble keeping up with, the subsequent lack of sleep, the amount of public affection- they were all tells. Tells that Even’s brain chemistry was going haywire, steadily rising up _, up_ towards the very peak of a cliff from which there was only one subsequent way to go.

And now here was the fall. The plummet back down to Earth that’s going to wreck Isak’s beautiful boy until he’s a shell, brimming with a despair for who knows how long.

Though Isak already knows what the phone call is about, he makes it official.

“Hello?” he answers, wide awake and staring at the ceiling.

“Hi Isak,” Even’s mother, Ingrid, sounded exhausted on the line, “It’s Even. He’s been asking for you.”

She didn’t have to say another word; Isak was already out of bed and pulling on pants. “I’m on my way.”

Isak could punch himself. He fucking knew that this was coming, but he respected Even’s desire to spend some time with his family. He had insisted that _he was fine, Isak, can’t I just be happy without being on the edge of a fucking episode?_

Apparently fucking not. Not like that. Not like every second was a fucking race that Isak had desperately been trying to keep up with.

Oh, he should have fucking known; and Isak would have been there from the moment the drop hit and Even wouldn’t have spent a moment in his dark void alone. God sometimes, Isak gets frustrated with himself; frustrated with Even for not telling him when he feels an episode coming on in the stupid hopes that he could get through it without telling him; hell, Isak’s frustrated with fucking God or whatever for choosing _Even_ to fuck with.

Eskild is in the kitchen when Isak bursts out, saying nothing after noticing the focused, agitated look in his eyes. He just gets up and tosses Isak’s shoes to him and wishes him a silent good luck.

The walk- okay more like sprint- to Even’s place was quick, only broken up by the sounds of Isak’s pants and the heat of the summer. The journey up the stairs was even faster until he was knocking on the door and it was opening for him.

“Isak,” Ingrid sighed in relief, giving him a quick hug. He returned it, but his mind was far from her, already traveling to the bedroom Isak knew by heart. But he stayed himself.

“How is he?”

“The usual,” Even’s father, who came from the kitchen with a mug of coffee, took a defeated sip, “Won’t say anything to us, or well, he’ll say your name. Which is funny because he never wanted Sonja around him when he- well, when this happened.”

Isak didn’t have time to feel the slight sense of vindication from that. “I’m going to go ahead and see him.”

Ingrid gave him another hug, “Thank you so much.”

_You don’t have to thank me_ , he thought, _where else would I be?_

He makes quick work of the length of the hallway.

He opens the door to Even’s room softly, squinting in the darkness, trying to gain his bearings, to pinpoint his boyfriend in the piles of blankets and pillows.

And that, _that’s_ a head. Isak slips off his shoes and heads for it.

“Hey, baby.” he whispers into the darkness of the room, knowing that Even is awake.

The head of hair twitches and he knows he has Even’s attention. “Isak?”

Isak nods, but realizes a second later that he’s a dumb fuck because the room is nearly pitch black, “Yeah, it’s me.”

He crawls into the space that had been designated ‘his side’ for the many times he’s spent here with Even in the last year and a half. It wasn’t hard because Even was curled into a ball- trying to make himself small, trying to melt himself into the mattress and escape from this universe.

“You shouldn’t be here.” Even mutters tonelessly even as he scooted to accommodate Isak’s presence.

He doesn’t let the comment sting. Not anymore, not when he knows just how far it is from the truth. “No? You asked for me.”

“I shouldn’t have.” Even responds and god does the monotone nearly destroy Isak. “I ruin everything I touch. Don’t let me ruin you too.”

Isak snuggles into the space between where Isak’s designated pillow and Evens’ meet. It’s not particularly comfortable, especially with the way the pillows separate and Isak has to angle his head, but it’s worth it to be so close to Even’s face, to feel his warm puffs of breath on his face like a caress, like a reminder every few seconds that Even is still with him.

Isak reaches out to brush a few strands of hair behind Even’s ears. Even, who’s eyes slide shut at the gesture, burrows into it and he lets out a loose sob. Isak says nothing, just continues to trace the frame of his face and playing with the soft strands.

“I’m still here,” Isak finally murmurs, scooting even closer to the older boy so that his lips could brush Even’s forehead, “I’m here and I’m not leaving unless you really want me to. Do you want me to, Even?”

The response comes way too quickly, “No. _Please._ ”

“Then I stay. Simple as that.”

Usually, their whole dynamic is the opposite way around.

Usually, Even is the strong one who holds Isak in his arms and calls him baby and strokes the hair from his head.

Usually it’s Even who receives calls in the middle of the night because Isak is lonely and wants the affection Even so freely gives.

They’ve been together almost two years and Isak can count on one hand with fingers to spare the amount of times Even has needed him like this. But whether it’s one hand or forty, whether it’s 1am or 3am or whatever the time is, wherever the place is, Isak will always come running, no questions asked, when Even needs him like this because that is what love is.

It’s dancing in the kitchen to pop songs, or smoking in the bedroom discussing movies; it’s occasionally skipping out on some homework because you would rather be kissing. It’s all of these _good_ , _great_ , _beautiful_ things that makes Isak’s heart soar to think about.

But love is also waking up no matter the hour because he needs you in a way that not many people could even hope to comprehend. It’s climbing into bed fully dressed, fully expectant to be whatever he wants in this moment right here, right now, in this universe or any universe.

Isak thinks he should tell Even this, but now is not quite the time. So he tries something else.

“I remember the first time I saw you,” Isak whispers, still running his hands through hair, “you were sitting in the cafeteria, talking and laughing with some girl like you didn’t have a single care in the world. It was fucking mesmerizing.

“I remember the conversation I was having just kind of… floated away and all I could focus on was you. Right there, in front of me. And then you looked up at me and my heart just- it fucking burst, man. Like a dam that I hadn’t even realized I had been building.”

Isak nosed Even’s forehead, “You did that to me.”

“I love you.” Even’s whispered response was- not unexpected, but so fucking pleasant to hear just the same. Isak kisses his head again in acknowledgement.

“When I first talked to you at Kosegruppa… well I went home that night and questioned everything I had ever thought about myself. My sexuality, my decision to stay in the closet. Because even just minutes after meeting you, I knew I was hooked. And that the easy life I had before was fucking done.”

“I’m sorry.”

Isak glances down with furrowed eyebrows, “Sorry? Even you _saved_ me. You rescued me from a life of nothing. I was lying to myself, to my friends, to the whole fucking world before I met you. And now look at me. I’m in a stable relationship with a boy that I love, I’m speaking to my parents, all of my friends accept me for me. None of this would have been possible without you.”

Even hand comes up to grip the collar of Isak’s tank top like a lifeline, “You wouldn’t be here though, trying to talk me down from this fucking episode.”

“No,” Isak agrees easily, “instead it’d be Jonas or Mahdi trying to talk me down from a fucking coke bender or something bad that I would have turned to in order to hide from my feelings instead of facing them.”

Even is quiet for several moments, his fist clenching and unclenching and clenching again from Isak’s shirt as he tried to process the words that had been true down to Isak’s very core. Even is it for him, man, and the only life he would have been leading if he had never met the boy would be one of drugged out hazes and self-loathing.

That’s what this incredible boy had saved him from and if holding him like this, comforting him like this, is the universe’s way of collecting payment… Isak will do it whole heartedly.

Because this haze of depression Even is stuck in?

It’s fucking nothing. Or at least nothing in the grand scheme of things.

Because Isak and Even are filled with good days. Great days that go beyond what Isak could have ever dreamed would be his life. They are filled with laughter and Eskimo kisses and Fifa tournaments and sloppy blow jobs in the shower.

So, yeah, Isak will gladly weather the bad days that comes with them. He’d take the hurt away from Even if he could, but since he can’t, he will stand by him until the day Even can peek his head out from the darkness and back into the light- back to Isak.

And God, Isak has gotten so fucking sappy since meeting Even.

“Okay,” Even says and Isak has almost forgotten what they were talking about. But he remembers and he thinks its such a big step that Even can agree with him, even as he’s in the very depths of depression. “Okay.”

Isak scoots to lie back down, face to face with Even. “Okay.”

Even inches forward, hardly a movement but Isak sees it for what it is. He smiles softly and brshes his lips once, twice, a third time before pulling back, kissing his nose, and telling Even to, “Get some sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Even does and Isak stays away a long time, just as he had the first time, watching Even. Watching as the little light in the room flickers on the bridge of his nose, how maybe the shadows under his eyes lessen just a touch with every passing hour that Even rests. He hears the worried footsteps of Even’s parents come and go, until finally they must be assured that Even is in good hands because they disappear.

And when morning comes, as it always does, Even is not miraculously better. He hasn’t woken up and turned a corner or any of that happy bullshit romance books would feed in an effort to romanticize Even’s illness.

But when morning comes and Even’s eyes flicker open, Isak’s own eyes meet his, just as he had promised they would, and Even is not alone.

Never alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, beautiful people! I hope you enjoyed it. As always, I am a creature of validation so if you want to pop below and tell me I did an okay job or hit that kudos button, you nd I would be best friends forever.
> 
> Also. Follow me on Tumblr. I post daily Even and Isak drabbles that I do not put on here. 
> 
> It's https://www.tumblr.com/blog/shadeandadidas
> 
> Thank youuuu!!


End file.
